Tips from the Buddha
“To be separated from those you love is suffering (dukka)”. - The Buddha
“Because of love, worries are created; because of love, fear is created” - The Dhammapada.
The teachings of the Buddha are primarily about the arising of suffering and ending of suffering. The core of Buddhism is to, by understanding suffering, to realise the cycle of birth and death, have compassion for all beings in the universe and to search for a method that transforms suffering into peace and joy.
The Dharma has a deep understanding of “suffering” and one of the concepts is the eight types of suffering. They are; birth, ageing, illness, death, being separated from those who you love, to be with those who you dislike, not having what you crave for, and to grasp the Five Aggregates as though they form a self is suffering.
Most people suffer when they are separated from someone they love because they have a ‘self’ and are attached their idea of ‘self’. The self is the main body of consciousness and senses, the master of ‘oneself’. “Belonging to the self” refers to what the self ‘owns’, including assets, status, reputation, and relationship. When one loses one’s belongings (e.g. the death of parents, breaking up with somebody) or when “ownership” changes (e.g. kids growing up, an extramarital affair), he experiences the suffering of separating from those he loves.